150 Ways to Ruin Your WordPress Site and Your Life
Here are some obvious and not so obvious ways to ruin your WordPress website. Some of these will also destroy the relationships with your family and friends. In fact, I guarantee that if you follow these 150 simple steps, you will have a horrible WordPress website and very few friends.
Earlier this week I published a list of the best 101 WordPress plugins. Going a long with that huge list, I decided to come out with something similar…but from a different angle.
There are serious elements mixed in with some humor. Please note that I am not endorsing any of the illegal activities described in this post.
Let me know if I missed any WordPress ruining tips!
#1. Post every few months.
#2. Don’t check spelling or grammar on your posts.
#3. Post nude photos of your wife on the front page.
#4. Constantly change your permalink structure without creating 301 redirects. Google will love you for this.
#5. Post the same killer article every week with a different title.
#6. Copy content from another blog.
#7. Claim you have a PhD.
#8. Never flush your toilet.
#9. Use pink everywhere…especially as the main font color.
#10. Put a bunch of keywords at the bottom of your page, making the font color match the background.
#11. Lie about your age.
#12. Post about Brittany Spears every other day.
#13. Use the same post titles as your competitors.
#14. Copy someone’s post and claim that they stole your content in the comments of their article.
#15. Go to Yahoo Answers, create a question and then answer that question with a different account. Do this and repeat. Make sure you link to an article on your site in every answer.
#16. Spam Forums as much as possible
#17. Use slang words in your posts.
#18. Make sure your best posts are hidden from visitors.
#19. Make it difficult for users to find your home page.
#20. Add music that auto plays on your website. Do not provide a way to turn it off.
#21. Constantly submit your own articles to Digg and Reddit.
#22. Create 25 different twitter accounts and constantly retweet your posts.
#23. Claim you are the son/daughter of Brad Pitt.
#24. Make fun of anyone who comments on your posts.
#25. Stuff your site with ads.
#26. Make sure your contact and comment form are broken. If someone points this out to you, tell them it is because you get so much traffic.
#27. Only promote your website through prayer.
#28. Send an email to your friends with a link to your home page once per day.
#29. Make sure you spend a maximum of 10 minutes on each post.
#30. Put a massive amount of links in each post without explaining what they are for.
#31. Make sure each of your posts is in a different language.
#32. Tell everyone you have aids, but then say you are just kidding.
#33. Use a bright background color.
#34. Resize your images by changing the width and the height attributes.
#35. Make sure to use frames.
#36. Post stupid comments on other blogs because you know this will attract the most attention.
#37. Claim your blog is a joint effort of all the authors of your competitors.
#38. Make sure you require users to register to view your website…before you tell them what your website is about.
#39. Make fun of your family members on your website twice a week… preferably posts with photos.
#40. Include the F bomb with everyone you interact with on Twitter.
#41. Don’t respond to comments.
#42. Always post your titles in all caps.
#43. Whine about the government in every post.
#44. Use the default WordPress theme.
#45. Eat yellow snow.
#46. Put up an article about the top 100 ways to cheat Google.
#47. Make your about page a PDF file that you link to directly.
#48. Avoid using punctuation at all costs.
#49. Misspell post titles.
#50. Thinking that increased load time adds anticipation, make sure all images and photos are not optimized.
#51. On every page of your site, put a line asking people to click on your google ads.
#52. Use a domain name that doesn’t contain any words.
#53. Don’t let anyone under 18 view your website, even if it is not an adult website.
#54. Display a different main navigation menu on every page load.
#55. Click your own Google ads at least 10 times per day.
#56. Put the most popular search engine keywords on the web in the meta keywords field on every page of your site. Make sure to use at least 100 keywords.
#57. Claim your site is only meant to be viewed by men.
#58. Create a post about the top ten ways to be a terrorist.
#59. Make at least one racist comment per post.
#60. Make sure all text is tilted.
#61. Create a contest that offers $500 to the winner. But don’t pay up when the contest is over.
#62. Make sure to talk while you are eating when recording videos.
#63. Whine about your family in at least one post per week.
#64. Post your articles in English, but record and post videos in a different language.
#65. Go with the cheapest web host you can find, such as Blue Host. Specifically because they give you unlimited resources and your site will grow.
#66. Post as many one liner comments on as many blogs as possible.
#67. Write posts when you drunk.
#68. Lie to your customers about the price of your product.
#69. Advertise an ad that says “Buy one get five free!”, but after they place the order let them know that promotion ended last year.
#70. Create pages specifically for top keywords that have nothing to do with your website.
#71. Make fun of handicap people in a post once per week.
#72. Always make promises you cannot keep.
#73. Focus 100% on SEO, but don’t worry about how your visitors feel about your site.
#74. Submit your site to directories in the most high traffic categories, regardless of whether they match your content.
#75. Come out with a “your mom joke” once per week.
#76. If you didn’t graduate from college, make this the first thing your visitors know about your site.
#77. Sell marijuana by the pound on your products page.
#78. Create a how to guide to being a prostitute.
#79. Post a link to a downloadable virus once per week.
#80. Sign-up your wife on dating sites.
#81. Write one post per week that features the word “retard”.
#82. Comment on your own articles using different names and email addresses.
#83. Install a spam bot on your server that posts spam comments on other blogs.
#84. Fill out as many contact forms as possible and only include a url to your site in the message/description.
#85. Offer to watch kids for a day, but then lock them up into a room. Just make sure to remember to feed them lunch.
#86. Ask for your friends ftp accounts for their websites, and then create a 301 redirect for all of them that goes to your site.
#87. Do not respond to emails any sooner than 2 weeks before you have received them.
#88. Never answer your cell phone.
#89. Do not pickup or do the dishes for 6 months straight.
#90. Email a virus to your friends as a practical joke.
#91. Make sure you charge 3x the amount for shipping as it actually costs.
#92. Post your admin password.
#93. Don’t update your plugins or WordPress installation….ever.
#94. Use your competitors logo for your website.
#95. Don’t include a site search.
#96. Never include photos in your posts.
#97. Urinate under your bed at least once per day.
#98. Use a crappy logo.
#99. Set all of your clocks to 3 hours behind.
#100. Require payment up front for any services you advertise, but don’t complete the service.
#101. Never do anything physical.
#102. Require all of your friends to post a comment once per week or you will never talk to them again.
#103. Never post on a topic that you have written about before.
#104. Block the google bot from accessing your website.
#105. Password protect your whole website, but don’t give anyone the password.
#106. Advertise sexual services on your blog.
#107. Make your main body text font size 10px.
#108. Make fun of a celebrity once per week.
#109. Put up a video of you barfing on your website.
#110. Put up all of your friends email addresses on your website.
#111. Make fun of your friends that are overweight.
#112. Make some of your text look like links, but they are not click able.
#113. Duplicate your killer articles at least 10 times on your site.
#114. Don’t do any research on SEO.
#115. Forget to renew your domain registration.
#116. If you are 13 years old or under, make sure you specify this in each of your posts.
#117. Claim that dropping out of high school is what everyone should do.
#118. Use post titles that do not relate at all with your content.
#119. Post your sister’s diary on your website. Make it a featured post.
#120. Only keep friends that are within 10 lbs of your weight. If they are more than that, tell them they need to gain/lose weight to be your friend.
#121. In your welcome message, say something like: “This website is only meant for Caucasian visitors who weigh less than 200 lbs.”.
#122. Randomly post a photo of a banana every day.
#123. Learn to type only with your feet.
#124. Post a Richard Simmons video once every two weeks.
#125. Never use the word “and” or “is”.
#126. Take photos off of the internet randomly, not caring if you have permission to use them or not.
#127. Forget about your wife on Valentine’s day.
#128. Create a post about each of your competitors and list out what you do not like about each website.
#129. Only test your browser in Chrome.
#130. Make your website 100% flash.
#131. Require everyone who visits your website to first download a pirated eBook.
#132. Claim you are a best-selling author.
#133. Forget to come into work for five days in a row.
#134. Only eat spam for a whole week.
#135. Take a shower once per 6 months.
#136. Put your parents phone number as the contact number on your website.
#137. Take a dump in the sink and tell your wife to clean it up.
#138. Pretend you are carrying a grenade on an airplane.
#139. Lock yourself into an airplane bathroom for the entire flight.
#140. Don’t check your site after upgrading your plugins.
#141. Redirect 404 pages to your competitors home page.
#142. Steal your neighbors pets.
#143. Poop in your neighbor’s lawn.
#144. Talk bad about your boss on your blog.
#145. Don’t create titles for your posts.
#146. Claim you have the #1 position for a popular search engine keyword.
#147. Post comments on other blogs, letting them know that your site is better than theirs.
#148. Forget to pay your hosting bill.
#149. Before you write any content, make sure you get at least 10,000 visitors to your domain.
#150. Exchange links with other websites, but take off their link after a few days.
Any additional ways you can think of in ruining your WordPress website?
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